Could You Rock a Corset? Probably Not.

Cathy Dareee Bakering, Chicken feeder

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wonder if I could rock a clothing item from the 16th century?” Chances are you can’t, but they’re in style. Believe it or not hoop skirts have come back and they can be seen everywhere you go! Just make sure your dress isn’t too short, because you do not want your ankles to show! The 1600s fashion is coming back, so you better go and buy a lot of silk and a sewing machine!

Lately people have been wondering why this is in style. “Well,” as your dead ancestor will say, “We just like it that way.” Then they will flutter their fans and blink their mascara-less eyelashes and zoom off in a flash. Your other ancestor who is older than you will then say, “Word to the wise, but don’t follow the trends. You cannot pull off a corset,” They will proclaim, “If you try, you might die like I did in my day.”

Most women would wear these silent killers, making them into a hourglass shape. This corset really was like an hourglass to some degree, as it counted off the time until they died. One might ask, “why would I wear a corset?” And I would say, “shut up, they’re in style.” Even men are wearing them, even though they don’t look good. Sometimes you have to suck up and just be a man; wear the corset! That’s what my mom always told me. If you ever find yourself being 10 pounds overweight and having no dignity, wear one of these. You will shrink. And all the blood gets pushed up to your brain, so you’re smarter.

Be smart, be hot, and do what’s right: wear a corset! Also consult your doctor first, as this product may cause cancer, diarrhea, death, nausea, fatigue, weight loss, and increased intelligence.